HOW TO IMPROVE A REALLY BAD MOVIE

HOW TO IMPROVE A REALLY BAD MOVIE

I know this is months late, but we finally saw Elektra tonight. It was horrible from the very first frame. Clearly, nobody thought much about character motivation or viewer sympathy. (“Hi. Meet me. I kill people. Root for me!”)

There is a kernel of a good plot in here, of course. No matter how crappy the film, there’s always a good reason it got made. In this case, it’s the story of the little girl. Had the movie been titled something like, “Growing Up To Be A Kung Fu Queen,” then we wouldn’t have been so annoyed at the character Elektra is in the beginning, and would have accepted her role in helping to become the next It Martial Artist.

So, ultimately, there was no one to care about and so no matter how nice the special effects are, it sucks.

But while we were watching it, it occurred to me that the casting director could have made one good choice to instantly make the movie more watchable. Instead of Terence Stamp as Stick, picture Christopher Walken, delivering his lines as only he can. Say, from Gigli, or The Rundown. Or maybe “The Continental.”

And then, maybe, Roseanne Barr as Elektra. That would have helped, too.